A’s All Up In Rookie’s Mane
"'I need a bouncy C. Not a bouncy castle!' Billy Beane screams into his headset, when an intern interrupts him and his daughter, practicing her guitar, while they are both on a treadmill. The intern...
View ArticleDevin In A Red Mess
Devin Mesoraco was diagnosed with a torn labrum in his shoulder after missing most of last year with a torn labrum in his hip. My Latin may be off, but I believe tearing two labrums means severe...
View ArticleNifty Ks Of Jon Gray
Jon Gray pitched seven innings Friday night versus the Mets, allowing just five hits, two runs, a walk and struck out eight in his first win, in well, in ever. Congrats on your first major league win,...
View ArticleYou Know Where To Buy Some Reed?
Super Two's time has come, finally. The rules for Super Two's are as following: any player(s) that has not been called up previously or has been called up previously but has more than and less than...
View ArticleSteven Wright Isn’t Giving Up Dickey
It's time we address the elephant in the room. Not you, Sandoval. I mean that one-time absurdist comedian and Red Sox knuckleballer, Steven Wright, has a 2.01 ERA in almost 100 IP after yesterday's...
View ArticleCaptain Nimmo And 100 Razzball Posts By Me
This marks my 100th post here at the Razzball baseball blog and I must say how thankful I am that I have a home at a blog where I can provide below average fantasy baseball analysis while referencing...
View ArticleSo Excited For Tyler My Nips Can Cut Glasnow
With Tyler Glasnow being called up, let's go over what we know so far about him. 1) In Triple-A, he had 113 Ks in only 96 IP. 2) He had a 1.78 ERA. 3) There's no C, since we're not even lettering...
View ArticleTyler Hits The Naquinella
"Naquin the Chef looks determined without being ruthless. Something heroic in his manner. There's a courage about him. Comes across so calm. Acts like he has a dream. Full of passion. Well, you...
View ArticleAroldis As Cub: Same Cheese, Thicker Crust
In 1906, the Cubs won a major league record 116 games. In 1907 and 1908, the Cubs won back-to-back World Series championships. Anticipating a third championship in 1909, a young, enterprising Chicago...
View ArticleUse Your Golden Ticket To Buy Dahl
This is the 2nd title this week referencing Willy Wonka, first being this week's podcast. It's a gee-dee Gene Wilder renaissance up in here (up in here)! I miss Gene Wilder, taken way too soon from...
View ArticleRazznasty Dynasty League Update: The Hippo, The Bug, and The Raskal(s)
As the season begins to wind down, and the grind of the first four months feeds into the stretch run of the final two months. The contenders begin to rise to the top in Razzball's own dynasty league...
View ArticleYou Don’t Have To CarGo But You Can’t Stay Here
Yesterday, Carlos Gomez was designated for assignment. Outfielders in the tier of guys in the preseason I told you not to draft: Pence, Kemp, Gomez, Schwarber, Hanley, Corey Dickerson, Ellsbury,...
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Points Leagues: Hader’s Gonna Hade
Don't be a hader. Don't hade the player, hade the game. Hader. Hader. Hader alligator. Alright, well maybe that last one was a bit of a stretch, but far be it from me to give it the old college try....
View ArticleBrave Or Chicken? Swanson’s Both!
True or false: A) Dansby Swanson is famous for being Ted Knight's caddy in Caddyshack. B) Starting a meme at his frat house in Arizona where he'd put his checkered pants on a cactus with the caption,...
View ArticleDraftKings: A Starter Against the Rockies? But of Coors!
It's not much of a secret, of course; or at least, it's not an undocumented fact: the Rockies away from Coors can be a bore with the bats. Wanna know an undocumented fact? Harambe might be a more long...
View ArticleArgh, Cole The Pirate Has Spurry
Gerrit Cole has an injured arm, possibly elbow spurs. I love this scenario: a pitcher throws like garbage for weeks then the team announces he's hurt. Love, love, love. This is my favorite. Five...
View ArticleNorris Can K Eleven Twins With Only Thirty Strikes
Yesterday, Daniel Norris went 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.81. Deserved better than a no decision, but he's 23 years old, making $500,000, so who cares what he deserves? I deserve...
View ArticleThe KK Ray Took Buy Baby Away
Kevin Kiermaier might be my first sleeper of the 2017 fantasy baseball season. The funny thing (completely and irrefutably not funny) is with fantasy football starting, fantasy basketball getting...
View ArticleBaseman Turner Overdrive Is Takin’ Care Of Business
I blame Jonathan Villar, Dusty, Francisco Lindor and Rougned Odor, in no particular order. Those players and Dusty are the reason why I owned Trea Turner and dropped him. I mean, no one would be...
View ArticleWith Reyes, The Cards At Least Hold An Ace-High In Their Hands
This offseason I'm going to recap sixteen-after-twenty, then I'll go over the best rookies for next year, then I'll go into sleepers and, finally, the new rankings. Holy crap! We're already at the...
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